“Our fathers had much to say about stillness, and by stillness they meant the absence the motion or the absence of noise or both. They felt they must be still for at least a part of the day, or that day would be wasted. God can be known in the tumult of the world if His providence has for the time placed us there, but He is known best in the silence, So they held, and so the sacred Scriptures declare. Inward assurance comes out of the stillness. We must be still to know.”
- A.W. Tozer –
The soul becomes steadily accustomed to the diet we feed it, the bodily being a mere programme that switches between functions. There is an insatiable need to continually meet demands, to fulfill obligations and to fend off warning accusations. No one stands in the middle of the boxed junction to raise a hand to call for a halting stop.
I find myself exhausted by falling into the ebbs and flows, finding it hard to say yes but even more impossible to say no. Watching 27 dresses produced a momentary epiphany, one of which I carelessly let go, and let that of which slip further. I have much to be concerned about in terms of priorities, more to be balled over by sheer necessities. It roar, it quakes, it thunders – reminding me that this familiar resonation once again came too late.
It’s taken its toll, the firstfruits of each morning hours sometimes are the only assurances that hold me, the only strength and comfort that see me through. Barely, perhaps. I find myself struggling to grasp hold of that center, trying to quell the uneasy disquiet uprising. And so I try desperately to push out at the discomfort with momentum and noise, thinking that a crowd would perhaps make it all go away. It stayed.
The noise. The estranged soul trying to capture an intangible balance. The inner state has forgotten how to be still or silent, but mostly it has forgotten how to listen. It claims it cannot afford the time, but what lies closer to the truth is my inability to bear the cost of active reflection.
I need to tend to my soul before it fades dim to a mere flicker.
Because God tells the man who cares. And I care.
